Why is it so hard to respond to people on time. Is it unproductive to mulitask when conversing. As much as I strive to maintain this discipline, the sheer volume of communication these days is making it hard for me to do so. At the same time I'm getting really annoyed when others exhibit this behavior.
Typical scenarios -
I call up a friend - friend says he/she's busy and will call back but never does.
A friend pings me on IM- I ask if I can call instead, friend says he/she is busy to talk will call later - never calls back.
I get an email and I just sit on it and never respond.
I'm supposed to call an interview candidate and I almost alwasys forget to call up.
There are many such instances that I can quote but in the interest of time, space and boredom I won't go down that path. I'm more interested in rectifying my behavior and inculcate some discipline in communication. The reason being, these communication gaps, that result because of indiscipline or carelessness, lead to misinterpretaions, can potentially harm or kill relationships, and can even disrupt careers.
So I'm listing down some improvisations that I've been trying for the past few months
1. Email - As soon as a I get an email - if I can formulate a response within a couple of minutes, I'll respond right away, if not I'll just let it be and respond to it whenever I get the required data. I keep my inbox open always. I don't organize email - no folders. I don't even have filters. Any mail that I have not replied to or intend to reply to- I just archive. I am yet to attain a zero unread state though.
2. In the middle of a conversation - I don't pick or answer calls. This is a skill that I'm still mastering. If it's a really important or urgent call, my assumption is that the caller will call again. I don't answer emails or respond to messages when I am in the middle of a conversation. I also don't like to get disturbed in the middle of a conversation. So if the other party or parties are constantly answering calls or responding to messages, I'll politely end the converssation.
3. Phone - Upon receiving a phone call - If it's from a known number and if I'm not in the middle of a conversation I respond. If it's from an unknown number I don't. If I'm unable to answer the phone, I'll always get back. Also if I come across any new contact - potential hire/broker/maid/driver whoever - I make it a point to store their number right away.
4. Instant messaging - I used to be an IM junkie. I don't like it anymore nd I am gradually phasing myself out of IM usage. I always prefer a phone call or a Slack message. I've come to this understanding that IM is largely a distraction and it is detrimental to productivity.
5. At group meetings or lunches or occasions - I don't open my phone/tablet. Sometimes I'm forced to get into some boring meetings and meaningless discussions. In these situations I'm on my device just to indicate that I'm least interested in the ongoing meeting/discussion. If the conversation really gets to me - I politely take the excuse of a phone call, walk out and never return to the meeting room.
Let's see how much I can stick to these. It's pretty easy to write these down, but really hard to practice.
Typical scenarios -
I call up a friend - friend says he/she's busy and will call back but never does.
A friend pings me on IM- I ask if I can call instead, friend says he/she is busy to talk will call later - never calls back.
I get an email and I just sit on it and never respond.
I'm supposed to call an interview candidate and I almost alwasys forget to call up.
There are many such instances that I can quote but in the interest of time, space and boredom I won't go down that path. I'm more interested in rectifying my behavior and inculcate some discipline in communication. The reason being, these communication gaps, that result because of indiscipline or carelessness, lead to misinterpretaions, can potentially harm or kill relationships, and can even disrupt careers.
So I'm listing down some improvisations that I've been trying for the past few months
1. Email - As soon as a I get an email - if I can formulate a response within a couple of minutes, I'll respond right away, if not I'll just let it be and respond to it whenever I get the required data. I keep my inbox open always. I don't organize email - no folders. I don't even have filters. Any mail that I have not replied to or intend to reply to- I just archive. I am yet to attain a zero unread state though.
2. In the middle of a conversation - I don't pick or answer calls. This is a skill that I'm still mastering. If it's a really important or urgent call, my assumption is that the caller will call again. I don't answer emails or respond to messages when I am in the middle of a conversation. I also don't like to get disturbed in the middle of a conversation. So if the other party or parties are constantly answering calls or responding to messages, I'll politely end the converssation.
3. Phone - Upon receiving a phone call - If it's from a known number and if I'm not in the middle of a conversation I respond. If it's from an unknown number I don't. If I'm unable to answer the phone, I'll always get back. Also if I come across any new contact - potential hire/broker/maid/driver whoever - I make it a point to store their number right away.
4. Instant messaging - I used to be an IM junkie. I don't like it anymore nd I am gradually phasing myself out of IM usage. I always prefer a phone call or a Slack message. I've come to this understanding that IM is largely a distraction and it is detrimental to productivity.
5. At group meetings or lunches or occasions - I don't open my phone/tablet. Sometimes I'm forced to get into some boring meetings and meaningless discussions. In these situations I'm on my device just to indicate that I'm least interested in the ongoing meeting/discussion. If the conversation really gets to me - I politely take the excuse of a phone call, walk out and never return to the meeting room.
Let's see how much I can stick to these. It's pretty easy to write these down, but really hard to practice.
