A weird dream

I came home after a not so bad day at work and started reading. Within a few minutes, sleep hit me. May be, it was the tiredness or may be, the lack of previous night's sleep but I succumbed to the sleep. As I drifted into the sleep around 6 PM, my dreamworld unfolded.

A friend of mine suggests watching a movie and as I start watching it, the movie is juxtaposed by a 'nature' episode. It's about lions. As the show narrator starts narrating the lion's behavior, the camera focuses on a lake and gradually zooms in on the lion's face which is inside the lake. The lion is emerging out of the lake ( for those of you who've seen "The spy who loved me", imagine the lion instead of James Bond's car as it comes out of the ocean" ) and suddenly as the lion get's out of the lake, the narrator is touching it's mouth and petting it just as she would pet a dog and explaining how friendly the lions actually are.

Then in a flash , the lion panics and goes into a hole in the ground dragging all it's cubs and covering itself and the cubs with mud. The cubs as such are not cubs, but more like rats. The narrator is gone and the camera zooms out. A pack of wild dogs are on the prowl and they are scratching the loose mud out to get to the lion and it's cubs. Then one of the dogs finds the lion's legs and starts eating the leg ... and I can hear the bones crushing as if I'm standing right next to the dogs. At this point, I woke up. It was 7.30 PM.

I freaked out when I woke up. Come to think of it, a lion that is so powerful, sensing the attack of a pack of wild dogs, retreats in fear to a huge underground hole. His cubs are as small as mole rats. The scariest part, he lies helplessly with his cubs, as the wild dogs clear the covering mud and start eating him alive.

While none of the above scenarios can occur in the actual world, I need to analyze why and how such a subconscious thought manifested.

A conversation

... .. .....
She: (mockingly) So there are a lot of women out there who you'd like to be with ?
Me: Hey, that's not true
She: Yeah, yeah, don't lie .. but me likes u lots
Me: Yeah, I know that :)
She: Dare u like anyone else in my presence
Me: Darlin, my heart is so filled with you. if u were to gain any more weight, my heart would just shatter into a million pieces and I'd be brokenhearted, come to think of it .. literally :)
She: (laughingly) shut up !! ... and continues laughing...

... fun times.

Random Thoughts

As I opened my eyes after 10 minutes of meditation and started preparing some coffee .. these were the thoughts that flashed across...

Chaos v/s order - I'm reminded of kids or rather infants. They just love chaos. You put them in any orderly environment, they'll turn it into a chaotic world. Be it kitchen, library or whatever. Then somehow order get's into their brain and remains throughout. Whatever the kid does, is perceived as disorderly. A kid wanders around in the garden, comes with dirty clothes - that's not good, plays in bare hands and legs - that's not good, spills when eating - thats not good. In the pretext of disciplining the kids, we take away what appeals to them the most or rather condition their minds to like something that we adults like. We kind of kill their love for chaos. So then, how will the mind learn to navigate through chaos ?

Personally I think, I don't have the same appetite for chaos that I had as a kid. I wonder even if I have that fancy for chaos anymore. When was the last time I did something totally random like just lie down on the ground and just toss some mud into the air ? or just take off to some unknown destination ... I seem to have really lost that joy, that happiness. That spontaneity is there, albeit quite dormant, but there is also a sense of insecurity that inhibits the desire for doing something totally random. How I wish I could embrace randomness and chaos .. again.