Random Thoughts

As I opened my eyes after 10 minutes of meditation and started preparing some coffee .. these were the thoughts that flashed across...

Chaos v/s order - I'm reminded of kids or rather infants. They just love chaos. You put them in any orderly environment, they'll turn it into a chaotic world. Be it kitchen, library or whatever. Then somehow order get's into their brain and remains throughout. Whatever the kid does, is perceived as disorderly. A kid wanders around in the garden, comes with dirty clothes - that's not good, plays in bare hands and legs - that's not good, spills when eating - thats not good. In the pretext of disciplining the kids, we take away what appeals to them the most or rather condition their minds to like something that we adults like. We kind of kill their love for chaos. So then, how will the mind learn to navigate through chaos ?

Personally I think, I don't have the same appetite for chaos that I had as a kid. I wonder even if I have that fancy for chaos anymore. When was the last time I did something totally random like just lie down on the ground and just toss some mud into the air ? or just take off to some unknown destination ... I seem to have really lost that joy, that happiness. That spontaneity is there, albeit quite dormant, but there is also a sense of insecurity that inhibits the desire for doing something totally random. How I wish I could embrace randomness and chaos .. again.