Last month I had a chance to visit the Osho International Commune in Pune. After spending some time in the commune as a visitor, all that remained in my mind were a few thoughts about the place and some videos of Osho that were shown. Day before yesterday I was spending some time in a book shop and accidentally came across a book by Osho, 'Love and Meditation'. A quick browse of the book and then I knew as to why I cant sit and meditate. Osho says, as long as you are in deep love, you will never be able to meditate, because the moment you close your eyes all that you think is the object of your love. He quotes the classic example of Gautham Buddha. Apparenly Gauthama ran away from his home in search of enlightenment. In reality Osho says, Gauthama escaped from his wife, Yashodhara. yes he 'escaped' because he was deeply in love with her and it was impossible for him to be set himself free as long as this 'love' bound him. He returned after 12 years. I have also tried to meditate sometimes and the moment I close my eyes there are the various 'objects' of love that flash across my mind. I didnt know that I was so much in love with people, nature etc. I always thought I was distracted. Osho says, never try to meditate, rather u have to go into a 'meditative' state.
On reading further, Osho says that a man can go into a meditative state as long as he is not in 'love' with anything. Once he is into meditative state love flows from him. To simplify man -> meditative -> love.
For a woman its the vise-versa. She gets into the love which emanates from a man and then goes into a meditative state.
Osho says, the ultimate 'orgasm' between a man and a woman will be at a point when a woman is in deep meditative state and a man is in a state of deep love. He calls it an 'eternal orgasm'. I could not somehow digest this fact, beyond my comprehension. However I was prompted to buy some books of Osho and the reading process has begun.

ciol.com reports that yahoo groups is banned in India - Reason a stron anti-India sentiment being expressed in one of the groups.

a lady in a bikini - whats shown is impressive, whats concealed is vital

Friday Night Out : It feels blissful when u enter Purple Haze and the first notes from the bose speakers to hit your ears are 'where were u, when I was burned and broken ..... ' - coming back to life, The division bell, Pink Floyd followed by 'say your prayers little one dont forget my son ..... ', Enter sandman - S&M Disc II, Metallica. We fortunately found a place to sit in the overcrowded pub, and then beer flowed down the throats and music flowed down the ears. Astounding rock music from the 70s by Led Zepp, Floyd, Metallica, Jimmy Hendricks, GNR till some of the new age numbers by Linkin park and the like. It was a gratifying experience and how midnight fell, god only knows. In the end, It felt tough to walk out when the last song being played was ... 'today is gonna b the day .. they will never throw it back to u.....' - wonderwall, Oasis.

Misleading ... is the word I should attribute to the commenting style of Yaccs ... :) I dont know how it happened but I always saw 'No comments so far' in my posts even though many people had commented.
I must have made some mistake while configuring the comments. Hence I never replied to any of the comments, due apologies. I happened to visit yaccs accidentally and saw this huge thread of comments and started my 'reply' process. Thanks to all those who dropped by.

Today's post :
Its 'carnival' time in our company. The desi terminology for 'layoffs' and everyone is kind of ga-ga over it :). But I guess deep in the minds of every employee there are astounded worries. To beat the stress, I guess we have taken up playing soccer in the evenings. Its great fun especially for me, who would do anything other than sitting in front of a comp for hours together :).
My ideal routine at work :
8 AM - Entry
9 AM - First Tea break - 10 minutes.
11 AM - Second Tea break - 10 minutes
12.45 - 2 pm lunch
3 - 3.30 - any indoor game - shuttle/TT
5.30 - 6 - Any outdoor game - frisbee/soccer
7.30 - head home

of course the remaining time is meant for work :))

It doesnt feel good when you have to use something u detest, to do something that is important and someone who doesnt matter appreciates you for that and someone who matters feels bad about the same :).

There seems to be some kind of periodic learning happening in my life and in every phase numerous questions arise for which I am not able to find satisfactory answers. First, why is it that mind accepts happiness so easily and finds it difficult to accept sadness or a low feeling. Whats more intriguing is that even though we conciously know that doing a certain act is sure to land us in blunder, the mind still prompts us to do it. Is it meant to be that way ? Today if I sit and think, I dont have anything to be happy about ? Philosophically speaking, people have adviced me feel 'comaritively' happy. Am finding it highly strenous to come to terms with it. Upon further analysis, it proves that 'endurance' is the solution for this turmoil of the mind. To rephrase it, the turmoil should persist in the mind, it has to persist till it is thrown out of the mind and it can persist only with endurance. The situation worsens when u have the solution in hand and cannot implement it. Thats my biggest problem. Presently, everything is pushing me low, at work, at home, what the heck I took up on online GMAT practice test and there also landed up in the 70th percentile. Upon all this today I did something which I had prevented from nearly 2 months and ended up in a stupid state. It proved that emotions, friendship, love are all tools of convenience in a man's life. The hard fact is I know it, but still cannot accept it. Thats the lesson I learnt today, but donno when I can accept and implement it. There will definitely be a day to implement these, I just have to wait .... with endurance...

Slaves at work:
I sometimes sit and think, am I living like a slave at work? there seems to be no freedom. Whatever is told to you, you have to simply do it. It is said that my company is one of the world's best places to work. Even in such a great job culture, there seems to be very little freedom. There is no authority. People just take your opinion, but you should give your opinion only when asked for. If there is something wrong happening in the system, you are not supposed to raise a voice.
I have to deviate a bit here. At every phase of life, I have invariably landed in a situation where in I have developed a hatred for the 'system'. As a child I developed a hatred for the desciplinary system, in the teens I developed a hatred for the education system, out of college - I developed a hatred for love and marriage and in the job I developed a hatred for bureaucracy. I have always believed in the principle of 'going with the flow' and 'take life as it comes' but that doesnt mean I can accept 'slavery'. If the wind is blowing in the same direction as you walk .. I will go with it and if the wind blows against you .. I will resist as much as possible. Correlating this to the above paragraph, I have developed a strong disliking or hatred to the present 'system' at work.
There is no scope for voicing your opinion. The present 'system' out here is flawed. Meaning, people do not see issues pertaining to the organization but they are more bothered about their existance. So things are looked at from a personal attitude. If a person is seen as vocal and has more scope for growth, people will only think of subduing him/her from all angles. I think its the same case in most of the organizations.
I think someone has aptly said, knowledge is power - if you are the powerhouse of knowledge , the world becomes your slave, if not you become the slave to the world.